Tuesday, 1 April 2008

Cheap like Primark

Hello! I see that you've been keeping an eye on the blog. Yippee! We've been blogging from our mobiles, but now we're both escaping the mid day heat in an internet cafe (we've been in Goa for less than 24 hours and our skin has gone from what one person described as 'like chicken' to a more lobster-y red).

Finally escaped Mumbai. We only stayed there for one night because the place is just too much... It's a great place if you love traffic jams, armies of people trying to sell you things, the smell of urine and dangerous driving (our taxi driver to the trainstation came to a screeching halt to avoid crashing into a cow that had wondered into the road. If I had been wittier at that moment, I would have shouted 'Holy Cow!' in a Batman-from-the-60s sort of way).

Anyway. We're on Anjuna beach in Goa where it's much, much better. All the holiday cliches are here. Sun, sea and sand - check. Palm trees - check. Vendors on the beach trying to sell you jewellery, rub-on tattoos, fruit, massages, sarongs etc... - double check.

Inevitably, the vendors try to strike up a conversation with you which starts with 'Where you from?'. When you tell them you're from London, you get all sorts of London-centric catchphrases thrown back at you, 'Alright mate!', 'Have a butchers at my shop', 'It's cheap cheap like Primark' (when I was here last time, it was catchphrases from Ali G). I want to leave my mark here - so for any of you reading, can you suggest any comtemporary catchphrases I can teach a vendor on the beach today? Please leave a comment on the blog for anything that springs to mind. Remember - our mums are reading this blog - so refrain from leaving naughty comments (Gareth & especially you Mike!).

Anyway - this place is pretty much paradise. I'll spare you the gushing details but if there's anything you'd like to know specifically, please leave a comment on the blog. Oh Tommy! thanks for the recommendation - we'll certainly check that out.


Anonymous said...

I would suggest a few things, which I have been picking up at Roman Road market:

1) Answer to "Where you from" is clearly, "I is from the endz, innit."

2)Should their aggressive approach to selling become a problem, "are you stirring the beef?" is always appropriate, to gauge their intentions.

3) Should you be dubious about the origins of a certain product being touted, "is dat been jacked?" or, "did you reef dat from someone?" could clear things up.

Run tings propah, rude language teacher bwoy n gal!

Adrian said...

Nice! I think I'll try number three when I'm next on the beach. Not sure number two would go down too well. They may take it to be an extreme insult to their holy bovine.

Anonymous said...

according to some lovely ladies mimi and i interviewed in romford, the adjective de nos jours is 'jokes' as in 'it's jokes, innit?' and means fabulous.

spread the word!

greig withani

Anonymous said...

i don't know if your still on that beach but how about teaching them: "it's not PROPER!!"

enjoy the palms