Fancy footwork and all-men knitting circles

More tribal people live on the lake on real islands, made out of dust and dirt. But because these islands are so small, there are no cars. In fact, animals are pretty rare too (they only eat meat on special occassions). When we visited their stunningly beautiful island, one small girl invited me to join her in a traditional dance with her family. Under the watchful gaze of her father, I tried to keep up with their steps while smiling and wondering how long the song that her brothers were playing was going to last.

But at least I didn´t have to worry about being seen as a prancing sissy in front of my tourist peers. I mean, the men knit there. And they don´t just knit the odd sock or scarf every now and then. They knit all the time. In fact I wouldn´t be surprised if they knitted in their sleep. I guess this is why the tiny island of Taquile is known for producing some of the finest textiles in the world.

If you don´t like your neighbours, sail away

Sitting at 3827m, Lake Titicaca is the higest navigable lake in the World (we´re not actually sure why one can´t navigate lakes higher than LT, but if you know let us know). It´s also an anthropologist´s dream and full of indiginous Peruvian tribes.

We risked life and limb to visit them (mum almost fell into the lake when she lost her footing while clambering on board our vessel) and landed at a collection of floating reed islands called Uros. Everything on these tiny islands is made from reed, from the simple abodes to watchtowers. The floor beneth your feet is springy and unsteady and the whole island is approximately 10m square. Yet 10 families will live on this piece of floating land, fishing, making traditional gifts for tourists and planning grand fiestas to celebrate local weddings.

It may sound like a hard life, but it has a lot of advantages - it´s always clean because there´s plenty of water to wash everything, there´s always lots of yummy fish aronud and if you don´t like your neighbours you can up anchor and find new ones.

Mine´s an alpaca, waiter!

Look down the menu of any standard Peruvian restaurant and you´re likely to find a selection of meats that would only feature as guest stars in London´s more adventurous eateries. Alpaca, ostrich and even the guinea pig all fall under the butcher´s knife in this country. And they´re mighty tasty too (although we´re yet to try guinea pig. I´m not sure Amy is too keen on eating the brethren of one of her former pets).

An alpaca steak tastes like beef, but is much leaner. We were told that it actually has only half the fat of beef. And ostrich, as sampled by Mrs. Ma turned out to taste nothing like a bird at all. Close your eyes and imagine a pig breeding with a lamb. Now, if you slaughtered the baby that was produced by that ungodly scene and cooked it, that would taste like ostrich. Don´t let your mind´s eye put you off. It´s actually a lot more appetising than my description above.

Forget London Fashion Week. Peru Rail is the new black, darling...

Picture the scene... you´ve spent the whole day trekking up mountains. You´re dressed head to toe in smelly trekking gear, covered in dry sweat and dust. You´re sitting in a very comfortable seat on a train which is gently rocking and sending you into a sweet slumber. Then suddenly all hell breaks loose. Noise! Thumping electro is played through the train carriage and then the very people who were being so nice to you by serving you food and drinks on your luxury train are storming down the aisle wearing ponchos made from baby Alpaca, fishing for smiles and applause from the captive audience. This, reader, is the most bizzare fashion show on Earth.

Some marketing director with a sense of humour one day decided that the best way to sell clothes to tourists on their train would be to host a fashion show in mid transit. The poor train staff were made to wear cardigans with llama patterns on them and parade them around carriages to a soundtrack from a bad European rave.

We cowered in our seats. Trapped. We couldn´t look away for fear of appearing rude to the staff who were putting so much effort to endure their pain. But by looking, we were sanctioning this bizarre sales pitch.

If ever you find yourself on the train to Machu Picchu, I urge you to save yourself the embarassment of watching this spectacle by packing earplugs and an eyemask. As soon as you hear the first beat of anything that sounds ravey, block your sense of hearing and sight with them and pretend you´re asleep. You´ll be thanking me for this advice when you reach Cuzco.

The arrival of the mothers and up to Machu Picchu

Our mothers finally made it to Cusco in one piece last Monday morning. We showed them the sights of the town, and were up bright and early the following morning to catch our Agatha Christie style train to Aguas Callientes ready for our trip to Machu Picchu. The train was amazing - a three hour journey through the Inca Valley, with some pretty amazing scenery. We had breakfast served in a very precise and elaborate fashion, and gazed out the window contentedly.

Arrived in Aguas Callientes (literally translated means ´hot water´ because of the thermal springs there) to bright sunshine and settled into our hotel. Aguas Callientes is described by Lonely Planet as being the ´ugliest most over priced small town in Peru´ which we don´t think is strictly fair. It´s overpriced for sure and very touristy, but is nestled between giant steaming jungle covered hills, and you can´t go too wrong with a backdrop like that.

The next day we were up at 5am. Adrian and I put our lazy mothers on the bus, and set off up Machu Picchu. We got up there in 50 minutes and met them at the top. It´s a crazy amazing place up there, definitely worthy of a photo or two! There was also a Bollywood movie being filmed while we were up there, with extras in heavy make-up and feathery costumes running around all over the place.

Adrian and I also clambered up neighbouring Huayna Picchu for the best view of MP, and were very proud of ourselves when we realised we´d made the steep climb in just under 30 minutes. We must be fitter than we thought!

Cusco madness

We arrived in Cusco at 5.30am today feeling pretty knackered. I was very grateful to have a nice comfy hotel room booked to collapse in while we awaited the arrival of the mothers.

Unfortunately, their time of arrival came and went, and it was only when we charged and switched on my phone that we realised they were stranded in New York due to all flights being cancelled because of Hurricane Ike! There are worst places to be struck, however, and they made the most of their time by getting a taxi tour of Manhattan. With any luck they will have boarded another flight by now, and should be with us first thing tomorrow morning. Fingers crossed!

With time on our hands, Adrian and I decided to get our bearings and ventured out into Cusco, the ´archaeological capital of the Americas´. Luckily for us, today is the day of the annual Día de la Virgen, and the whole town is full of hundreds of men, women and children dressed in traditional costume dancing and singing their way around the city - it´s amazing to behold!

More buses...

We left Arequipa last night after a fulfilling meal and boarded yet another bus, this time bound for Cusco where we would be joining our mums.

It was a pretty long 9 hours, as we couldn´t sleep due to the crazy altitude - at one point our bus ascended to a breathtaking (literally) 4,425 metres, which is the highest I have ever been. So while sleep elluded us, we watched ancient Michael Bolton and George Michael music videos on our bus´s tiny TV. Sigh. Such musical genius. And what hair! Lest thee all forget, here is a delightful shot of Signor Bolton to jog your memories.

We´ve realised that the Latin Americans do seem to have a bit of a thing for musicians of the ´80s - there has been a LOT of Michael Jackson (bit of a Michael theme developing here) and Madonna on the radio too. And I´m talking the old classics, none of that recent rubbish.